stepping out for a bit....

This post is going to be different even though I'm in Nicaragua and am super happy. But what I'm thinking needs to be said and I honestly have no one to say to without either getting into a fight or hurting someone's feelings.
In my family we celeberate Christmas on the 24th. Santa comes to the house and hands out all the gifts from family anf friends. It's been a family tradition for about 20 years and we've continued it despite everything. Afterwards, we eat our delicious feast and then digest the food. Usually about an hour after eating (around 1 o'clock in the morning) people start to leave. This year was no different except it was the first year EVER we had it at my mom's house. All the years we lived in Miami we've alays celebrated xmas at my mom's sister's house. the few times we've celebrated it here with the whole family it has been at my grandmothers house. The last time it was there was her last xmas. it was very sentimental, but fun at the same time. This year my mom really wanted it at her house. I mean it is only normal, right? Anyways, with all her sisters here, you'd think that it's be one of the best xmases for my mom right? well, no..it probably wasn't. And not because she's ungrateful, but because everyone, and i mean everyone had something negative to say. and you know what's the worst part? that they didn't tell her and make any direct comment. Last night's convo was full of indirect snide remarks about everything. Someone wasn't feeling well. "The food wasn't right". "How dare she buy the stuffing and not make it from scratch". "It's just not the same". "WE should've stayed in miami." "I'm too tired, I wanna go back home now."
Towards the end my mom was doing her best to salvage the evening by dancing and laughing and making jokes and having a good time. do you think anyone gave her a smile? Do you think anyone danced with her? Do you think anyone could've stopped being selfish brats and just be there for my mom who does SO much for all of them? No. no one was capable of doing that for her.
I get it. I udnerstand that xms is a very sentimental time for everyone in my family since my grandmother's passing, but it's been 5 years. it's not fair that my mom has to to deal with the aftermath while everyone got to go back to Miami and forget about it. But then when they come back to Nicaragua there's always this blanket of sadness of that envelopes them. They couldn't smile for my mom just this once. I mean they don't even visit that often. It's always a mission to get them here and they come and it's almost as if they shouldn't have. I should've known it would be like this from the moment they were buying their tickets and how complicated they were being. and how they kept saying they weren't going to come. If you didn't want to come and were so hesitant why even bother coming? To make my mom feel like shit (yes, i cursed).
I wish i was taken more seriously within my family and had more authority where i could say all this to them. and put them in their place. but unfortunately i'm only 21 and i'm considered a bimbo in my family. so nothing i say is valid and it's all stupid.
sorry to be a downer, but i needed at least one person to know how i felt. and what i wrote doesn't even come close to the emotions that are crashing like waves in the pits of my heart.
like i told my hubby, though, you make christmas fun not the other way around. so i still enjoyed myself and i tried to smile as much as possible and compliment my mom and thank her as much as she would listen. ;)
What i love best about my mom though, is that she enjoyed herself and thought on the positive. and despite the heavy cloud of dislike and melancholy she still tried to be a good and fun host til the very end.
I love you mama, and don't let them bring you down because this was the best christmas i've ever had and i love you so much. remember that only God and you need to know how awesome you are. and only you can make yourself to be happy and a good person. Can't wait to spend new years just us.
-Your always grateful daughter who appreciates everything you do even though she may not show it,
K

different days; different stories

Well hello blog world. I have disappeared yet again for a few days because well....because i'm on vacation. and that's what you're supposed to do. btw i'm apologizing in adavnce in case of any misspellings or gramatical errors for at the moment i am using a spanish keyboard and they're a little hard to get used to. (actually my spelling might be better since i'll actually be proofreading what i'm typing). ANYWAYS, right now i am sitting my father-in-law's, or SUEGRO's, office. I have two fans on with a webcam staring straight at me begging to be used. I am smelling blueberries, chicken noodle soup, and a hint of gallopinto. the weather is pretty good...outside. but an inferno inside, hence the two fans. I just completed mission impossible to get ALL the pictures I've taken onto this specific computer so i can share with you. I will describe 3 different days. Are you ready? Well, then...let's start the show.

Day 1

Today I wake up to find that it's raining. the window opens up to the mountainous view, but i can't see it. it's 5 in the morning and i'm too happy to fall back asleep. I lay squished in between the hubby and S. S is sprawled out on her own bed and the hubby is doing the fetal position facing away from me. Me? I'm facing the window with my eyes closed enoying the sound of the plitter platter of the rain on the windown and sift ground outside. I take a deep breath in and let the memories flood my mental movie theatre.
FLASHBACK....
I'm in my room at my parent's house. I'm 15 years-old and I've just finished writing in my diary. It was a tough day because I see myself crying. I lay my diary and pen on my nightstand and pick up the phone. I realize I can't call anyone because it's 10 o'clock at night. Lady is laying next to me fast asleep. I suddenly turn to face my window and smile....it's raining. I turn off the light, get comfortable, and lay back in my bed while petting Lady. The rain picks up and now there's thunder. I smile wider and let the rain take me off the dreamland.
PRESENT...
Here are a few pictures of the rain at the hubby's parents house....enjoy!

Day 2

Once upon a time there lived a little 2-tailed princess by the name of S. Since she was part of the 2-tailed clan she is the most royal of royals across the land.

We see that Princess S has company today.

They were having a wonderful time playing hide-n-go seek...

seeing the beautiful landscape from the tallet windown of the castle...

(which is coincidentally the kitchen)

Oh wait! Princess S and her friend see something beyond the castle's grounds. What could it be?

Princess S reaches for the phone

and dials her guards to see what's going on.

She rushes outside, because her guards had no clue, and finds out it's a party for her that her loyal subjects put together.

They had a bounce house...

and there was cake...

They even had a royal swing set...

Princess S returned to her castle happy and grateful looking uon her wonderful land of loyal subjects.

FIN!

Day 3

There's really not much to say about these following pictures. They were taken on the way to Granada, which is the city i spoke about in a previous post and the rest of the islands of Lak Nicaragua. A volcano erupted many,many years ago, and it formed little islands. We stayed at one for the day because a friend of the family's lent it to us. Yes, that family owns an island. Remember, realty is super cheap here. Anyways. Here are some pictures I took on this trip. ENJOY! and have a merry crhistmas!!!

Day 1 in paradise

so here are some pics from last nite. the first one is my dad at his best...smoking a cigar. and the woman in the back is my beautiful mama. i was so happy to see them both.  

This next picture is of me and my grandfather. can't you just feel the love?

these are my siblings. my little sis my rite, and my little bro to me left.

this was taken in my psrents terrace. they have this huge almond tree...almond? i don't think i ahve that rite. anyways it's a huge tree, and i thought the birth bath and big...vase? were pretty.

this is the "almond" tree with lights. isn't it gorgeous?

sorry but there's not much to say today and i don't really have time. the only thing i will say is that i could record the smell. the moment we got out o the jetway and were officially inside the Nicaraguan airport the smell was overwhelming. i had forgotten the nica smell, and and the moment the hubby and i breathed it in we knew we were home again.

i hope you all are enjoying yourselves wherever you are.

1 more day!

You would think this post would be FULL of excitement and anticipation because I'm going to Nicaragua tomorrow. But no. This one is not a happy one. I didn't want to think about it before, because you know how you believe if you don't thin about it than it won't happen? Well, that was my mindset. But today is the day and it's happening.
The hubby and I couldn't find anybody who would be willing to take care of my grand caramel macchiato. I mean there were people who would do it, but there was always a but or they couldn't do it for the whole time or they couldn't come here to my house, etc. Anyways, due to this the hubby and I decided a kennel was best. Before you start calling me crazy it's not really a kennel it's more like a doggie daycare. And it's on a farm in Davie, FL and all the little pups have plenty of room to run around and they each get their own room. I mean, it's actually pretty great. And if I was there with him the whole time he'd probably LOVE it. but I won't be there and he's probably going to think I abandoned him, which is so not the case. In the long run this decision was better because all the people who might've taken care of him would only come to take him out and feed him. He'd have no interaction with anyone. He wouldn't sleep in my room, under my bed, or snuggled up to me. He wouldn't crawl out of bed and jump on me and kiss me to death.
Yeah, he won't do things at the kennel daycare. But, it's ok, because at least he'll have people giving him affection (I hope) and dogs like him to play with.
What's worse is that when I get back the 2nd I only get to enjoy him for a day and then school start. And I'll be out almost ALL day long. Will he think I'm abandoning him again?
I cried like a baby last night thinking that it was his last night with us.........

SEVERAL HOURS LATER......

So I postponed typing out this blog because I had to drop of Macchi at the kennel (sniff sniff) then when I came how i was busy cleaning ALL day. Finally when I was done cleaning I had to pack.
ok, I don't think any of you can imagine how much I had to pack. It was just SO much. There's so much that we're taking for others that we had to sacrifice our clothing and S's Christmas presents. Let's just say that the hubby and I are probably going to be wearing the same shirts over and over again, and Santa was only able to pack ONE gift. Yeah, it was pretty bad.
Well, it's 10:34 here and I'm dying of sleep, because of course S decided to party ALL night last night. Oh and that child can seriously party all night, I'm not exaggerating.
So, even though I'm pretty excited about tomorrow I'm still too upset about Macchi, (BTW S cried like if i was killing her when the Kennel people took him away, which of course made me cry), about the whole cleaning the ENTIRE house bacause the hubby's brother and wifey are staying here, and the whole packing and re-packing and sacrificing OUR stuff situation.
I know Nicaragua will still be a blast. And don't worry I'll take TONES of pictures and show them to you guys. And I know that S is going to have so much fun with her aunt and uncle. But right now, I seriously need a nice hot shower (because can you believe I didn't have time for that either?) a manicure, and a good night's sleep.
When I see you again I'll be in Nicaragua. WOO HOO......

P.S: (I know this isn't a letter, but whatever) Remember I might not be able to read anyone's blog so please check back at all your posts in 2 weeks when I've commented on them.
=)

deep breath in...deeep breath out

I really don't know how one person can contain so much excitement, happiness and energy. I mean, seriously...how am I supposed to live these next 3 days without peeing in my pants of excitement every 5 minutes? I've been packing and re-packing all 4 luggages over and over again. I keep rearranging what I'm going to wear Saturday. I keep taking things out of places and putting them in the bag I'm going to carry. 

It's like the closer I get to leaving the more I'm talking to some people from class. The excitement I'm feeling is palpable ALL over facebook amongst my friends. My graduating class only had 31 people. And it seems as if EVERYONE is going to be in Nica this Christmas break. Almost all of us are graduating in April, 1 of us is graduating now (CONGRATS HELENE!), and a few os us are graduating next school year. So you can imagine how excited we all are because even after 4 years and living away from each other and barely seeing one another during breaks we still kept in contact and we're all going to see each other right now. 

The hubby and I are planning on making up for the last two years of being responsible and "party like a rock star" (name the song). Anyways, we haven't really been out dancing in a while. The other night (you know, my drunken post) was the first time in 2 years where we were actually at a club with dancing. Yeah, we've been to bars, or restaurants that turn into bars at night, but nothing beats dancing while you're a little tipsy. I'm going to have to assume that high is a lot better than a drug-induced one (never taken drugs, so wouldn't know the true comparison). 

Sigh, I'm just so excited. I either eat too much or eat nothing at all since 2 weeks ago. I try writing in my journal or continuing my book, but I can’t keep my hand from fidgeting. I've been playing super old songs that we used to dance to in high school. I've been reading my diaries and the mess we used to get into. Yes, I know, I'm torturing myself, but I can't help it.

I don't think you guys can understand this emotion I'm feeling. It's so bad, it's starting to hurt. But in a good way. I LOVE it. I'm just excited that I even dreamt of my high school last night. UGH! I wish I could bring you along with me so that you can see the awesomeness of Nicaragua. 

I want you all to swear that of any of you are planning on going to Nicaragua you will let me know so that I can go at the same time and show you all the great places. The zip-lining, the cliff-diving (only did it once), the virgin beaches, the lakes, the volcanoes, the scorching towns, the people, La Gigantona (jajajaja), OMG and the food. My goodness the food. Yes, I'm still going to be at least vegetarian while there, but there's still SO much delicious, fattening, yumminess of food. Quesillos, platanitos, tostones, GALLOPINTO, coffee, , YUM!!! My mouth is watering!

bouncing!

this is me bouncing up and down in joy because there's only 4 MORE DAYS until Nicaragua!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! How I'm managing to go through the days I have no idea. I keep finding things to do in the house so that time passes by faster.....for example, I've been doing LAUNDRY!!!! I know! and also, I cleaned the house today!!!! If tomorrow I'm still going crazy I might actually wash my dishes by hand...GASP!!!
Here's a little poem

Jumping up and down
Jumping side to side
Why am I jumping?
Cuz' I'm going to meet the tide

Jumping around in circles
Jumping in my chair
Why am I jumping?
Because I going to do my hair!

Jumping as I walk
Jumping as a I dance
Why am I jumping?
Because I'm about to go to France....

Wait, not France!
NICARAGUA!!!!



Ok, that was a CRAPPY poem, but you get my excitement, right? RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Have a nice rest of tuesday! 4 more days, tee hee!!!!

I <3 me awards...I truly do...

So, I feel pretty awesome right now, thanks to Kathryn. =) I won another award, but I only get to pass it on to three people. =( .... Well, here it is....

Before I go into the 3 fill-ins I'd like to give this award to:
1. my bestie/prima 
2. the coolest photographer i know 
3. a brave/admirable woman

Now the fill-in-the-blanks...



1) My site rocks, because, IDK, I'm not good on self-flattery...let me think...because (jeopardy son sounds in head)......FLASHLIGHT! I got it.....because of my randomness...


2) In my next life I want to come back as I've always said a butterfly, but now I'm not sure. I don't want to come back as a person because I think I'm pretty cool. I think I'd like to have come back as an angel or something. Does that count? Because I think angels are pretty cool and they get to fly without really flying, and the get to live in Heaven, but they can still come to Earth. 


3) For me the best part of blogging is being able to connect with others and realize you're not the only loser/weirdo/idiosyncratic/whatever there is in the world. I love the supposrt regardless of what I do, and I love the good criticisms!


Now the rules: 

The first thing is that you may/may not put this award on your sidebar....and you may/may not link it back to me. I'm not looking for free publicity here....it's all about the loooooove.
The second thing is that you need to fill in the following blanks. You may do that in my comments on my blog, or in a post on your site....I'm not gonna tell you what to do:
1) My site rocks because: ___________________________________________________
2) In my next life, I want to come back as a:____________________________________
Because:__________________________________________________________________
3) For me, the best part of blogging is:_________________________________________
Finally, you may pass this award on to three (3) other deserving blogs as a way to continue passing on the loooove.