I am Nobody

Sometimes it's hard to sit in front of one's computer and write out their life. Especially, if they're going to be honest. It truly is difficult for me to describe to you my insecurities and my faults. Especially now that I'm being more and more honest because no one that I see reads my blog anymore. Now it's more for me (since I've lost my only followers, lol).
It's hard t be honest with oneself. However, as an honest person, shouldn't I be honest to the most important person of all? Who is that person anyways? "Who am I? I am nobody"o (E.D). I am someone who loves to be different, from what I wear to how I look physically and think and what I believe and how I talk. I embrace that I am different, because why fool myself into thinking I'm just like everyone else?
I am someone who is not afraid but so afraid all at the same time. I'm not afraid to show my true self, but I am terrified of rejection and being ridiculed. I am someone who doesn't care what people think of me, but am constantly wondering what people are thinking about me. I am someone whose biggest hope and greatest fear is to accomplish something. I want to be significant in this world. I want to make a change, but I have no idea how and I have no idea how to even get there.
I am someone that loves to be a mother but wakes up every morning fearing that I am ruining my child's life. I am someone who loves passionately. I love my husband and daughter and dog with all my heart. I love all my friends no matter how far away they are. I love my parents and siblings til no end. But with all that passion for good, I also hate passionately. I hate the word hate, but I do in fact hate people. Ot as I like to say, "dislike passionately". I dislike so many people like that, that if they just touch me I cringe and die a little inside. I honestly hate that about me. I am someone who doesn't like to curse and doesn't like when others curse as well.
I am someone that tries so hard to be a good person, but finds it so hard to do. I am someone who wishes she were Mother Teresa or someone just as saintlike. I am an envious person, the green0eyed monster forever lives in my heart telling what it doesn't have and deeply desires. I am a greedy person, but not even myself knows it. I wish I can give, but I never have anything to give.
I am someone that would give the clothes of my back to my neighbor is to afraid to do for what others may think.
I am someone who tells myself mantras throughout the day so that I can get through it. I truly believe that if you believe you have self-confidence then you do. I am still waiting for that self-confidence. I am someone that thinks the worse of myself. I believe I am a terrible mother, wife, student, etc. Yet, at the same time I praise myself on every little accomplishment.
I am a complicated someone that half of the time doesn't know who she is, but truly believes I know who I am like the back of my hand (where did that thing go....)
I am me, and as much as I don't like me I stuck with me. The most I could is give myself a try.