I'm no saint, I just want to say that before anything else. I'm not a saint, but I really hate cursing. I find cursing to be demoralizing and it kind of belittles a person. I feel there's a lot more words in the English language to exclaim when say, you... hurt your toe against your counter. Or when you're describing the man who cuts you off for absolutely no reason, or when some waitress is flirting with your husband right in front you. All the curse words you just came up with in these scenerarios have some very colorful synonyms. Here's let's give it a try:
You're walking and then all of a sudden the wall moves an inch towards you (yes, walls move just to hurt you) and you clip your shoulder really bad on the corner. In stead of saying S*** you could say, "FLUX!" or "STOOL!" or "FECULENCE!". All those sound very nice and menacing when yelled.
Alright let's try another one.
You're rushing to class/work/etc and then someone bumps into you and your bag/briefcase falls open and everything spills out. Instead of saying F*** You to the person who bumped into you, you could say, "COPULATE YOURSELF!" or "FORNICATE YOURSELF!" and so on.
One more scenario. You're telling your best friend about that waitress that flirted with your husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/etc and you call her B****. Instead of calling her that you could say,
"And, OMG, she's like the biggest CARPER!"
"And, then she showed him her cleavage. What a HELLION!"
So you see, there's a lot of words in the English Language to use against people. You sound smarter by not using your french, and the plus is that the person you say it at get's even more frustrated because they probably don't know what you're saying, but they know you just called them something evil. Enjoy using these words and expanding your vocabulary.
7 comments:
LOL we should go back to that waitress...so you can use your words of course... =)
Okay. What happened?? C'mon...you can tell me.
What did the f&*^ing b&^%&tch do to really p!ss you off?
Can I still say "crap"? What about "freakin'"? 'Cause I really like saying "freakin".
Whatever.
Babe: Um...no. Not even to use my words
Kathryn: THAT story is for another blog. Maybe if I get more requests (Better tell your friends to comment) then I'll share it. And it's such a good story. You know one about the coming of age and HELLIONs interrupting it. jajaja
Kathryn: Oh BTW, you totally missed the point of the blog! Using exclamation points and symbols doesn't mean you used a synonym. and freakin is a good word. =P
Saying "GO FORNICATE YOURSELF" or "COPULATE OFF" will probably have the person who cut you up, pushed in front of you or knocked you over in stitches (and I don't mean the type you get in hospital, I mean the ones you get when you laugh so hard). This is good if you are attempting to calm the situation. Personally if someone said "COPULATE OFF you little FORNICATOR" after I knocked them over I would probably knock them over again so I could hear it one more time. Plus using language like that isn't there a real danger that you will get locked up with the Amish....I'm assuming I can't upset the Amish with this statement as they should not be reading this. But if any of you are reading this I'm going to report you to your elders, then you'll be COPULATED... Sorry for that bad Amish joke, you can blame Jodie Piccard and her book Plain Truth - For the record I was hoping for a death sentence for all of the characters....
BlackLOG: jajaja. maybe my substitutes aren't as colorful, but don't they sound more educated? BTW I loved how you put yourself in the offender's position. If YOU were knocked over you wouldn't want to try these fabulous words?
Guilty as charged. In my defence I was in a hurry and they were weaving slowly in front of me....
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