a form of retraction...

I'm feeling pretty good right about now. Yesterday was a just a day for me to wallow and get upset at everyone. I have days where I just need to dig up a hole within the darkest part of my soul and stay there. It feels nice to be able to do that. I don't know why, but every so often when I do that I feel ten times better afterwards.
When i was younger I used to just lock myself in my room, turn the lights down and play my music in the background. I would play all the sad songs I can think of on the piano or write incessantly in my diary. When I would finally emerge from the living dead I would feel rejuvenated and refreshed. It's like if I was in the process of molting or something.
I just want to comment about yesterday's blog and the whole thing with my dad. I would hate if you all thought my dad was the awful, ungrateful person. He isn't, at all. He's actually a pretty great dad. He takes what I say seriously, especially if it's about stuff I've studied in school. He looks at me like a professional in psychology (my major, BTW) and will frequently ask me questions on the topic. My dad is a renaissance man and is extremely fun to talk to. He doesn't take himself too seriously and really knows how to love, considering he never received much love. His greatest accomplishments are his kids. I've always been able to talk to my dad about anything, and I mean anything. He doesn't get angry often, but when he does he does. My dad has many flaws and one of them is what happened the other day. When he's angry he wants to hurt people emotionally. He doesn't know it sometimes, but he does do it. What's different this time is that he apologized for it, which he's never done up front. I think the reason he did apologize though was because I stood up for myself this time and told him to his face everything I was thinking. I think that and my age made him realize what he said.
The fact that he said sorry, says a lot of him. It says he knows when he's wrong and not many people can do that.
So, I ask you readers (all 10 of you who I love), to not think of him in a bad light. Don't judge him on yesterday's post only.
Tomorrow I'll share a little story about us with you all. Biting your nails in anticipation? You should be, it's a good one.