Man oh man! Things are finally coming together and it's a little scary. For about 2 months I have been putting myself out there to get into a lab. As a psych major I can't only stop with a bachelor's degree. Of course I need to AT LEAST get a masters. But then again that isn't enough either. Anyways, in order to get into a good graduate school with good grants and scholarships, I just recently learned, I have to become part of a lab. Ugh! Supoosedly it has to be a research lab, but I figure if I'm going for a PsiD and not a PhD, then it should look better if I'm actually doing something practical and not theoritical.
Well, like I was saying, I've been e-mailing every reserach lab in my school. And let me tell you there's a lot. I've been selling my shamelessly for the past 2 months, re-emailing all those labs over and over again. I'm honestly shocked they haven't sent an e-mail just to say, "Cool it ok! We're not going to consider you because you're a senior!". But they won't even send me that. BTW it's hard to get into labs if you're already senior because they want someone who can at least give up their life for 2 years.
Well, I've been badgering one of my professors because I learned he was part of YDP (youth development project). He told me to contact this other woman, AG. I've been trying to contact her, but of course, she never responded any of my e-mails. So, i decided to continue to bug my prof until he caved and actually spoke to AG about me specifically. Well, on monday he did just that! Right now she just e-mailed me saying she has something I can do, and probably more. EEEEEPPP!!! But now , i don't know if I can do it.
This would mean that my almost 2-year-old would have to be in daycare almost full time. Since I've become pregnant, my dad has constantly told me, "Do what's best for you now. You don't know what can happen, you can only guess. But you need to do what's best for you, your daughter, and your family...NOW". I've been trying to take his advice to heart, but as a psych major I know that the way she grows up will affect how she is as an adult. I would hate it if she went to therapy and the therapist told her that she's acting the way she's acting because of my parenting skills (or lack thereof).
I know LOTS of kids grow up in daycare, but my family is very Hispanic, and we believe in raising our kids at home. And even with all the positive research there is about kids who go to daycare before PK, they still say that nothing beats growing up with your mom/dad at home. They may stumble a little when they go to PK because most of the other kids are probably more advanced academically, but they'll excel socially and (alter on) cognitively because they'll be more secure. I'm more worried about that. I'm not much of a social butterfly, actually I think I'm socially impaired.And I would hate it if she were to suffer as much as I did in school because of it.
IDK, I hate making decisions. I feel like one little slip and the whole world will come crashing down on me.
5 comments:
Sweetie, I believe you're over-thinking this. Yes, it's great if a child can benefit from having a stable homelife. But she WILL! You're preparing for your future...and there's nothing wrong with trying to find the compromise of the two.
Seriously! She's young...and she'll also benefit from the socialization. That's not such a bad thing.
Ugh! I know. I took the lab opportunity. I hate to admit this, but the real problem is that my aprents still have a say in my life. Due to the fact that I go to them a little too much, and also if they say jump I will do it regardless if I think it's dangerous. I'm too obedient dammit! jajaja
In all seriousness though, I know in my heart, that as long as I raise her right she can't begrudge me this, right?
at least that's what I'm hoping and praying for.
I majored in psych too, with a minor in french. I joke and say that I am unemployable. LOL In all seriousness it will all be ok! If everything feels hard and jumbled then it's not the right time for change. It will come when it's time. Rooting for you!
So, what are your parents telling you? Go? Not go? I'm missing something.
Yes, daughter will be fine. You need to balance her needs with preparing for your family's future. There needs to be a balance. She will still feel LOVED!
PS: Word verification-thingie is still HERE! Grrrrrrr
lacy: most of the time that's how I feel. But ever since having S (my almost 2-yr-old) everything decision is a big one. Even choosing which milk to buy.
Kathryn: My parents are on the "don't take her to daycare" mindset. Even if it's for just a few hours, they're so against. But whatev. I didn't really consult them with this one I just talked to my hubby, and .we decided me volunteering is better in the long run.
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