Today was the first day I have spent so many (conscious) hours without my baby, in the hands of a complete stranger. It's one thing to leave her with family who see her all the time, and you, of course, trust them. However, it is an entirely different story when you leave her with complete strangers and booger-eating, butt-scratching, slobber-all-over toddlers.
I walked into the daycare and waited for a little bit, then i decided it was time for me to go. So, I signaled one of the teachers and she immediately came over and sat her down on the floor to watch tv. Sera just looked up at me with these eyes that said, "Are you leaving me? What's going on?" I swear I could hear the splitting of both our hearts (especially mine) when she did. I turned my back and she started to cry like if the woman was stabbing her with a butcher knife. I sorda ran back kissed her like I'll never be able to again and almost ran out of the horrid place. I made it to my car without a single tear. Just a warning before I continue: I don't cry. I actually made through the day without crying. I was in an awful mood all day and I couldn't stop thinking about her, but I swear I didnt cry. =)...What helped me get through until 1:00 (which at that time I was running out of my house) was Panera. Boy, do I love that place.
At 1:10 I was at her daycare walking in AND she was taking a nap. The director went to check on her and, luckily, she was awake. The moment she saw she started crying and screaming my name. I took her in my arms and just held her. You know what she did? She held me too. She just wrapped her little arms around me and clutched onto me to never let her go.
I had prided myself in saying that I'm not attached to her, but I am. She may be young, but she is my best friend. She knows when i need hugs, and kisses, and laughter, and smiles. She knows me, and, at this point, I think she's the only one who truly does. Sadly, after today, I know this won't continue. =( ...Now I'm starting to cry. I can just see her getting married and leaving me forever. I miss her already.
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